Single parent dating introducing the children
Do you want your teenager to model their behavior after you?If so, you owe it to yourself and your kids to build new relationships thoughtfully.
Renowned researcher Constance Ahrons, who conducted a 20-year study of children of divorce, concluded that most children find their parent’s courtship behaviors confusing and strange.She didn’t understand why Baylie didn’t share her enthusiasm for Kevin because he was so perfect for their family.As Caroline spoke, disappointment was apparent in her voice: “Kevin’s just so ideal for our family and I can really be myself with him. I figured that Baylie would like him because he’s a lot of fun and I was blindsided when she started complaining about him.” During our second session, I asked Caroline if she had thought through any disadvantages of introducing her daughter Baylie to Kevin so soon.They had been dating for a little over two months and she was head over heels in love with him.But she began questioning their relationship when her daughter Baylie, age eight, starting complaining about Kevin coming over – especially when his nine-year-old son, Ryan, came along for the visit.Don’t be surprised if your children reject your new partner at first.
Some kids express anger or defiance and may even threaten to move out – or go to live with their other parent full-time.
Adopt realistic expectations about your children’s acceptance of your new partner.
Just because you are enthralled with this person, it doesn’t mean that your kids will share your enthusiasm.
It may take them time to accept a new person in their life.
For example, Caroline, a 36-year-old teacher, described her new partner Kevin as thoughtful, affectionate, and a great match for her.
If you co-parent, it should be easy to spend an overnight with them when your children are with your ex.